Mumsnet best age gap A bit of a guide. A stark age difference will be when she's 40 - he's 70. I'm currently pregnant with my 3rd and feel my family will be complete once they're born. They will most likely want very different things from life. My DCs have a 4 year age gap and they adore each other. I’m due my second in a month and my first is 4. Nearly every couple I know the man is 4-5 years older . To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. 5 year old and we are trying to make a decision over the next 6 months about going for a second There's no right or wrong answer but for me, having seen a friend who has children with a similar age gap and how it worked, it was a no. They’re now 11 and 6 and they get on so well. I would not change anything now though (11 and 10) they are best mates and so close it's lovely to see. I've nannies kids with all sorts of age gaps and this seems the best to me. 5yrs age gap. DP is almost 70 and although the age gap isn't huge, he's turning into Mr Grumpy overnight. Join Mumsnet Log In The gap of 10 years wasn’t a problem for us until he got into his 50’s. Three year olds can hang on a bit better. I’m happy with that because I could get dd1 potty trained in the day before dd2 came along. 5. Don’t think we’ll have a third, in part due to not wanting a huge gap and disrupting the dynamic. In this scenario, age is less of an issue. If you have more than 1 child, what was the age gap between them? Did I'm 24 and with a man who's 43. It's great. Honestly I never felt the age gap between me and DH because he was quite mature and I was the childish one. Mine is 15 months and it has been perfect for us. Would recommend. What do you think the best a I am looking for some advise how to exit. The DH has 3 siblings - the age gap between him (eldest) and his youngest sibling is 4. In t My husband and I have an 11 year age gap. I was honestly surprised at the age gap because he is not the same age as my brother that he was friends with, I thought he was 5 years closer and he thought I was at least 5 years closer too, so we knew there was an age gap, but I've been very conditionned by what happened in our family (2. Join Mumsnet Log In Thank you for this! I'm adamant I'll want more than 2, but we have to make the decision soon as to whether I have our 2nd asap (my DD is 18 months) leaving a 2-3 year age gap, or work on our home/finances which would mean looking at a 5/6 year age gap. He's the love of my live. I don’t think there’s an age gap that is ‘better for the kids’. In my "ideal" world I think an age gap of 3 years is perfect although Mother nature had other ideas. People might say about when the older one gets to old age, but then people can get ill and need care at any age. Studies have shown that mums often cope better with a small gap A lot of mom guilt, but I think it's a good age gap if you're lucky enough to have two overall healthy kids. It's mostly fine but you could probably say that about any gap. I resented he suddenly had all of my (previous only child's!) parents' attention and it felt like I was expected to step up from little kid to independent pretty quickly. but he is only 7 years older t. It is not the age gap it is the age of the female. 21 year olds IMO are very young to When she started walking it got very hard. Skip to main content Skip to main navigation I had a friend with a bigger age gap. 2nd and 3rd have a 5 year age gap - fight and argue all the time (two girls) 3rd and 4th have a 10 month age gap - they are super close and like twins. We have one DD who is 12 months, and considering when to TTC for number two. My last ex was 5 years older than me and that seemed too big an age gap at times. I (23) have been with my boyfriend (40) for a year and a half now and we are thinking of moving in together, so he thinks it's time I met his daughter (18). They have grown up very close and are still best mates. She absolutely loves it and the older two boys get on brilliantly with each other and absolutely dote on their baby sister. Forgone conclusion. My birth with my 3rd (the one with the 15 month age gap from the 2nd) was the easiest labour I've had. They know how old I am (I don't hide it because I'm proud to be 55 and doing as many pullups as they do), although, they tease me saying I'm lying about my age. In fact, the age gap may also help you with responsibilities. I can only imagine what a larger gap would be like. I'm unexpectedly pregnant with my 3rd which will also be about 21-22 month gap, I was It also means that the best age gap between babies is – officially – two years and three months. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone! Me and my DH have been together over 20 years and married for 12 , we have a happy marriage and have overcome a lot at the start of our relationship due to the age gap ( DH is 20 years older) we encountered unkind comments and people who I thought were friends basically wanted nothing to do with us but I accepted that was peoples opinion and just got on With a closer age gap, that would be less of a problem. You're in the same stage of life and a 5 year gap at this age doesn't mean much at all. But it's a huge red flag if a man gets bored with a relationship because someone isn't paying him enough attention when she is bogged down with three young children (of course she's bloody well not as affectionate - she's probably exhausted!) and moves on to someone else 2 weeks after the I have an 11 year age gap relationship, neither of us notice it too often. Someone experienced in age gap relationships? 9 years in something that for past 5 has not been a relationship. Age gap of 6 years with my own brother. They are now 17 and 22 and the best of friends. 18 year age gap here. It just feels really relentless at the moment. Also if they Two of my four kids have 3 year gaps. I have a 5 year age gap and I think it’s great. If the F was in her 30’s and the male late 40’s this is more acceptable. Gap between 2 and 3 is 3. I've got 4 year age gap - DD is 16 months and DS is 5. Not personal experience but my uncle & his wife had a 10 year age gap and always told us not to do it because it was difficult. It was not serious and lasted a year or so, he was a nice, slightly damaged, free spirit of a man, who drifted about a bit. I know what it feels like to be trapped with someone who is abusive and controlling. It was great and if I were to do it all again I'd definitely go for the smaller age gap. But it's great when they are a bit older, mine are 4 & 2 and have shared interests & play really well together. I'm 27, some of my best friends are in their 40s, I don't see why it couldn't work. 5 years. I love it as a gap. That changes again of course when they are adults. I have 2. We are now at 4&6 and it's still hard but maybe similar to how it was initially. It was hard in the beginning. Quote I do think 27yo to 42 is a big age gap in that you’ve not finished your 20s and not yet lived your 30s. What 12 year old girl wants to play with a 6 year old? And by the time he was 12, I was 18. But what’s it really like to have a little more than two years between siblings? We take a look at The best age gap is the one that works for your health, finances, fertility, feelings, etc. The age gap wont matter then. Whether they get along as children or adults is so much more complex than their ages. One of my best friends is my age with a boyfriend who’s 38. Tons of nappies, DS1 smack in the middle of the terrible 2s Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Plenty of people are in relationships with a large age gap and are fine with it. Old enough to understand mum feeding baby, young enough for it to be early enough not to rock their worlds too much. They play together really well and adore each other over all. Although I have my own exceptions depending on age - for instance 5 years I would say was an age gap when either partner is sub 25 - the difference between a 19 year old and a 24 year old is vast but I wouldn’t consider 26 and say 31 an age gap particularly. I feel like between the 1st and 2nd it had forgot the drill😂 (there's almost 4 years between them two) I'm 10 weeks pregnant now with baby number 4. I think you need a small age gap or a big age gap (where it is a much older child and they can be hands on and help, and you can do the baby and toddler stuff while they are at school so that they aren't bored by this but in the summer hols they are old enough to go out themselves as that I would guess is where you have difficulty if you have a This is far off (I'm only 26+2 with my first) but me and my husband have been thinking about when we'd ideally like to start trying for a second. Unfortunately due to severe infertility, we will be one and done once I give birth. I have a 12 year age gap between me and my sister and I adored her. I don’t think there has to be a two-year age gap for kids to play together. We have a 7 year gap between ours. 5 years gap here, now 8 and 3. But also, does the older one always date much younger? People who are early 20s? Exactly the same age gap between my 2, I had a c section due to reduced movements. But I had a difficult second pregnancy and, although we wanted a much smaller age gap than we got, it was definitely a silver lining going through pregnancy with a fairly sensible 4yo rather than a demon toddler. It really depends what you want. I never notice the age gap and it stopped being an issue very early on it's rarer for the woman to be older and people wouldn't bat an eyelid if it were the other way around. They have 2 children. For me, those are a big reasons why we're one and done and had a 5 year age gap limit when dithering about having a It's a good age gap. If we had another it would be when baby starts school so 4-5 years. 4. Share 16 year age gap 10 replies Kaylasmum49 · 17/05/2023 11:54 I left an abusive I’m struggling with the age difference tbh so don’t really know what to do for the best. Im your partners age and I couldn’t begin to imagine dating a man in his 70’s. I think there can be more at play than age in terms of whether they’ll get on. It’s long distance and we’ve been dating for 6 months, due to the nature of our jobs (we travel) we see each othe My best friend is 10 years older than me, I don't actually have that many friends my age, a few from when I was at school who I see now and again. We've been together a year nearly everything is going so well. I know 3 age gap rels where the woman is 50s/60s and the man is 70s/80s. I know many people have made things work with an age gap and it doesn't bother me in the slightest however have had some comment telling me to "watch out" and people who have been in age gap relationships before have said that they felt "weird" but no one will We have DD(7. I have a 5 year age gap with my siblings and we get along great and used to play together all the time when we were little. It was tough at the beginning, Loved their age gap and I have 2 other dc with 20 months between Dc2 & dc3 and 20 months between dc3 & Dc4. 4 year old and my god it's hard. I would choose a smaller gap again in a heartbeat. They are so so close, able to play together since very early and now age 5&7 they both say the other is their best friend. The first one and the biggest gap was when I was 20 and he was 41. Definitely not. 5 and 3. Age gaps are problematic when they mean someone has considerably more life experience and could hold power over the other. There's a 6 year age gap between me and my sister and I don't think it helped our relationship at all and was a difficult ages gap- there's few things suitable for both ages (films, toys, days out, activities etc), they aren't in to the same things, once the older onnis in high school the difference becomes even more obvious and the gap bigger and the younger sibling What's the age gap between your children and how 'happy' are you with that gap? 3 year or 4 year gap between each other. My husband has just over 2 years to go. I know there isn’t a right answer, but I’m curious to hear people’s experiences. I wanted 3yr maybe 3. It may be a 5 year gap, or more! It really doesn't make any difference, you just get on with what you've got. I agree that I don’t think there is any best. I can't imagine how the difference of 30 years would pan out as a 30 and 60 year old age. By and large they tolerate her. Then it's gradually got easier. For a lot of reasons (no family nearby, a pretty traumatic birth, took a while to conceive) we knew it would be a bigger gap but now it's actually happening I'm wondering what we should be considering. And I swear the old saying 'you're as old as My sister in law has a 5 year age gap between each of her 3 children, a 10 year old, a 5 year old and a baby. I have nearly 3 years between ds2 and dd. Otherwise, I can’t see why you’re kicking up such a fuss over something you have absolutely no control over. was 7 years younger. I went out with someone 6 years my senior and I could def see the age gap even at my young (ish ) age - he dressed like a generation older than me. 3. Their relationship is incredible. Looking back, the gap must have looked a bit odd because I was young when the relationship started (20) but it never felt like an issue at the time. I think with a bigger age gap(3+years) they will have less in common when they are older. Quote Sign up to our weekly round up Although he seems attractive and mature now in 20 years he’ll be 77 and you’ll only be 60 and the age gap will be huge. I have a 20month gap between 1st n 2nd, and 3 year gap between 2nd and twins and a 8 year gap between twins and 5th lol we decided we didn’t want anymore after the twins but ended up with surprise baby number 5, (5 months) and big brothers n sisters love her, big age gap is nice actually, they all play with her more than they do each other lol, the most awkward Just that really. The midwifes have so far assumed they are by different fathers due to the huge age gap but they aren't. The way I see it, move out asap and start afresh! Realistically then there would be a 5+ year age gap. Been married for 19 years this year, never been an issue. I think because it was so close together my body just knew exactly what to do. I had a few wobbles at the start due to our age difference but he reminded me he had plenty of offers & CHOSE to be with me. I’ve got 2 years between mine, 5. I have an 11 year gap (22nd anniversary this week) and it has been fine, however now he is fast approaching retirement age I feel that I will be left behind and by the time I retire he'll be less likely to want to do much. One of his best friends is 40 with a I have a 22 month age gap - currently have a 6 month old and a 2. I have 2y5m gap between my first 2, then a 4 yr gap, before another two 21 months apart. I'm struggling because everyone I know in our Mom group has already had their second, or currently pregnant. But what are other people experiences What is a good age gap? Some days I think 3 then sometimes I think 7, etc. I know what you're saying but for us the small age gap was not really a decision and at the time very daunting. Apart from the age gap being different (but still significant) this sounds so like my ex. That being said all families are different and there are pros and cons to each gap! I had a 15 month age gap with my 2 so slightly bigger. The relationship was good, we were very well suited. The age gap was too big to play together. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here) I'm not sure I would say it's more popular per say but I would say it's becoming more open. I have 3 children and thought I was done but DP is desperate for another one of his own. They’re upstairs playing together now. Things will change but we have been together for over 20 years and the relationship is good, but I would advise my younger self to hold out for someone my own age. Normal things like what to have for tea being blown up into a huge row that you are then I really don’t think age gaps are a big deal at that age. Quote React Add post Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox! There's a 6 year age gap between me & my younger sibling. We never even thought about the 'right' age gap. There's a 4 1/2 year age gap between my two (currently 12 and 8) and whilst it wasn't what we planned it's hard at times but they are very close in age and like best friends. I had never dated any guys youngger than me before him. My husband is 20 years older than me and this is the best relationship I've had. The gap is really not an indicator that they will get on at all! I have a 3. I've always wanted a 4-5 year age gap. 5 years gap) as we were very close when children/teens (not so much now we're adults though we've never really fought). this is the sister of a friend btw. 5 yr age gap but it happened very quickly. If you don’t like huge age gaps in relationships, the best thing would be not to involve yourself in a relationship where there’s a huge age gap. It's greater than any age gap I'd have considered really but I knew him for several years before we got together and the age difference isn't really relevant. You’re children won’t know any different whatever the age gap is. My dad has 4 siblings with 2-21 year age gap and the only sibling he isn't in contact with is the 2 year age gap. First 2 have a 3 year age gap - they fight and argue. You'll love it Me and my partner have a 17 year age gap Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. I have DS1 who is 4 in March and DS2 who is 9mo, want another, not quite ready yet, but maybe when DS2 is about a year. Feeling really stressed and anxious about the widening age gap between DD and #2 that we're still trying for. poohbearsmom I think any age gap will work if you've thought about it. The gap feel less the older we get and honestly we don't notice it at all. My ex and I had a 15 years age gap and whilst not all of our problems were created as a direct result of the gap, there was a lot of generational differences between us including that whilst he was beginning to wind down I was just gearing up in my career. I mean, it might also be an issue. The gap between my bro and I was 7 I think it’s commendable to think about these things OP, but 18 and 22 seems fine to me - at 18 you’ve been over the age of consent for 2 years, and could have been living independently and working for the same time. Weirdly my best friend also is married to a younger man and there are 12 years between them - Does an age gap work? Best UK family holidays Best UK holiday parks Best TUI all-inclusive resorts in Europe for family holidays Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Let's start with the pros: You’ll get the baby stage over and done with in one fell swoop. I have this age gap with my little sister and we are very, very close as adults, with similar values, interests and sense of humour. The baby is super clingy and I really don't feel like I have any personal space or time to myself at the moment. The women all hate it (totally different life stages) but feel that they said their vows so will see it out. It's great! Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox! Email address To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Yes. Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. The little one was really good with her words which likely helped. As always it will be those with “3 under 3” or whatever saying you have to have a small age gap and those with five plus years between theirs saying a bigger gap is better. What’s the best age gap? 17 replies NickiJay94 · 27/10/2023 12:51 I need opinions! My Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here) There is no "best" gap - all have their pros and cons. We've been together 18yrs now too. Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Sorry to be blunt, OP, but the sooner you realise recording your partner's phone calls is no way to live, the better. I found the longer gap slightly easier - 2 yr olds can still be very demanding and not yet able to wait whilst you have to do something with the baby. Last one is the ‘little one’. 8) DS1(3. It’s not too strange within our friend group. The middle one plays with her quite well, the older one not so much. We get on well as adults. 9 years. My sister is 5 years older than me and we have the best relationship. My parents have a similar age gap and while it’s never been a huge issue it is becoming one now because while my dad is retired, my mum has another 10+ years of working so their day to day lives look very different, similarly my mum wants to go out together, go on lots of trips/holidays, my dad is starting to get niggles and illnesses None. Not sure if this is the right place to post but I want your ideas on what you think is the best age gap between children? I really struggled to get my Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search I'm the only female "regular" among a group of 5 younger guys, ranging in age from 21-33. Quote Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, they are 6 and 8 now and the best of friends. There’s a ten year age gap between me and my hubby (he’s older) and we’ve been together 25 years. I have 18 months between ds1 and 2. What do you think the best age gap between young children is? I’m thinking about many things: kids getting on well, recovery after labour, having your body to yourself for a There is a lot of debate among mums about what is the best age gap between babies. Join Mumsnet Log In I'm 27 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby, my 1st baby is 17 years old, so we have a huge age gap!! My husband has 2 children from a previous relationship too, they are 22 & 19, they are all so excited. They are best of friends though and entertain eachother a lot now. 21 is very young. Im 58 now and think 62/63 is as old as I could go. Mumsnet makes parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support on everything from conception to childbirth, from babies to teenagers. While it wasn’t illegal it was wrong. We have all moved away. Gap 17 years. I had my first young and have a 20 year age gap between them and my second, I always wanted more children but didn't meet anyone that I wanted to have them with for a long time so for me I wasn't bothered about the gap as I never felt my family was finished. No sibling rivalry or upheaval when new one comes along and I felt they’d each gotten that 2 years bonding and An age gap of two years or less is not for the faint-hearted, but there are advantages to having your children in quick succession. It's a lot easier than the double toddler stage. We have just over 2yrs. Girl, boy, boy, girl. Best case you're not compatible anymore, most likely worst case he's two-timing you and blatantly lying to your face, and he bagged hinself a nice live-in carer for his elderly mum to boot. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, I don't care what anyone says THE best age gap is 3 years, never seen this disproven 😂 elder one is (generally) potty trained, sleeping, communicative, self-entertaining, and most importantly getting their 15/30 free hours. Not quite 20, but I was in a 15-year gap relationship for nearly four years. Separate bedrooms, no intimacy, me a skivy I've got exactly 2 years between mine, and lots of people say, "oh, that's a nice age gap" - not sure what planet they are from, as I think it is a v tricky gap. I think when someone is literally only just an adult, so 18 or 19 and the other is in their 30s or 40s that it’s a bit weird. I’m happy with the gaps overall but if I was only having two I’d I have 4 children the gaps are 18 months, 20 months, 3 years 2 months. I did start an induction but stopped after the first pessary. A lot of the people I know in gay relationships have some kind of age gap - actually, this one isn’t even that big in comparison to some of my friends relationships. I am 53 and way off retirement. Whatever you have, you make it work. And as other posters have said, a small age gap doesn’t guarantee a close bond. Our expert explains the pros and cons of sibling age gaps to help you decide. He'll be 60 when you are his age. They get on alright as a bunch of adults but are not close. It’s difficult in that now they are teen and tween the age gap is very pronounced (one very much a child, the other could pass as a young adult). They play together brilliantly- even aged 5 and 2. Hey so I’m a F27 and I’m dating M45. But honestly, To comment on this thread you need to create a I have a big age gap with my two boys and it’s been brilliant. Possibly. 5- to me this age gap is perfect!! I could not have envisaged having two tinies to deal with and quite frankly wanted the special one on one time with my first and then him to be at school so I When I was 22 I had just got together with a 36 year old. Age gap relationships are totally front loaded for both parties. 5 yr gap due to secondary infertility rather than by design. Which is to say there is no "best age gap" as it's personal and wholly depended on your situation. My closest friends are also around 7-10 years older than me, and another who is 20 years older, I also have a good friend who is 50 years older than me. I don’t think age gap is the primary indicator of We are expecting our second child and will have a 6 year age gap between the new arrival and our daughter. I have two older boys 9 and 8 from a previous relationship an I'm 61, still active, working, mellow with life. The 21 month gap was the best age gap imo. Title says it all really. Problems in the bedroom he wouldn’t seek help for, MH problems, using his age not to do DIY and sit around all day. It's the same age gap as my DP & I (but we're a few years older than you 2). Though, with the age gap it’s the age of the younger one, that mainly impacts it for me. The age gap created a huge power imbalance and now that you’ve live more life you can see that it was wrong. Personally, I roll my eyes and get judgy about men who only want to be with women 15 years younger than they are, because they've fallen for the sexist crap that a woman's value lies principally in her youthful appearance; there are power differentials at play between the I have 4 children the gaps are 18 months, 20 months, 3 years 2 months. Why do you think this is an age gap Often people talk about men in their 40s or 50s dating ( or chasing ) women in their 20s and many people seem to think that’s no issue . For example, by the time it's worth taking your youngest to somewhere like Disney or Lapland, your oldest would have missed the best age really. . Basically theres no perfect age gap. This time round I went into labour at 39+5, slow laboured for 2 days, on and off contractions. They’re not peers. we’ve recently had DC1 and would love more if we’re able (took > 1 year to conceive DC1). Lots of people have to rationalise abuse to get through it but imho you were still abused by an older man. I I have a three year and a few days age gap - boy and girl. I've told him I won't be putting up with that, no way am I going into old age listening to all that. I absolutely loved having a baby in the house and have really happy memories of the first few years of her life. But yes it’s a great age gap. My gaps were 2 years and 3. It’s not much of a gap at all. We met at uni where he was a PhD mature student. It's a lovely age gap. If fertility was guaranteed with no struggles or set backs, what age gap would be best to keep childcare costs to a minimum? (Aside from having them 5 years+ apart) And in terms of child development, what age gap would be best? My siblings are 5/8 years older than me and personally would prefer to have my own children closer in age. Believe me when I had a baby and a toddler it was hard work, relentless but enjoyable! I'm 32 weeks with #2 there's over 14 years age gap between mine. They have never had the same interests or enjoyed the same things so every trip out is a compromise where one doesn’t really enjoy what they want to do and there’s a lot of taking turns, they don’t really have a “sibling” bond as the oldest had 10 aibu to think this is ‘off’? 18 year old girl dating a 25 year old. Mumsnet is very against age gap relationships yet the vast majority who are complaining about their husbands and being cheated on are married to men of a similar age to themselves. My youngest is now 11 and all things considered I I personally wouldn't be keen on such a large age gap in my own relationship, but my brother's partner is the same age as our mum and they have been together for years now. After 55 a lot of aches and pains can arrive, despite the best of diets and lifestyle. I was desperate for a sibling so I was Same. The age gap now sounds questionable to me, but no one in our families saw it as an issue. I don’t want to upset him or lead him on in any way. I wouldn't have any before a 3 year age gap I don' Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search Just wondered peoples advice on when best to try for a second child? From an age gap perspective and also from a nursery perspective, so not being h Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Otherwise, if it’s two well established adults I don’t see what the problem is. And if you go when your oldest is the best age, your little one won't remember it. You're both adults. Especially as lockdown happened when youngest was a couple months old. We first got together when I was 25 and he was 36, he really hated our age gap in the beginning and in fact stalled things for a bit whilst he got around the idea. I know someone who gave birth one week after I did and is expecting her second with an 18 month gap which just makes me shudder. 5 year olds. Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox! To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I have ages gaps ranging from 9-13 years with my siblings and we are all close, especially now they are in their early 20’s. If people look after their health 20 years is nothing in terms of chronological age. My dd is 10 months and I would like another baby but am unsure what is the best/easiest age gap? I would like them close enough to play together but don't want to ruin dd's baby time by being pregnant and don't know how i'd cope with a toddler and a newborn. Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox! Email address Married with an 18yr age gap. I was given the advice, that if you were planning to have more - have them as close as possible. I know age gap relationships are controversial on mumsnet so let me get some context clear:- we met in real life, he used to come into my work a lot and we hit it off. I think it’s a really lovely age gap and I’m really glad that it’s a little bit bigger than the average age gap (I also have a 10 year age gap with our youngest sister). I agree with you that Mumsnet can be a bit dogmatic about small age gaps being best. They seem very happy and well matched (you don’t really notice the age gap when they’re together) but DSis is a little concerned that the age gap might be inappropriate. Seems futile and, well, unnecessary. Join Mumsnet For me it’s not just about the age gap. There's 12 years between and my partner. I have a 7 year gap with my sister. Just go for it when you think you might have enough energy. He was in his 50s and she under 20. Just decided to start trying DC2 and when it happened, it happened. They got together when she was 30. The most common gap amongst friends is 12-24 months. I've opted for a longer age gap myself just To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. He speaks to the 5 y age gap brother at least once a day. I have a very excited 11yr old who is wanting to be up at 7 open her pressies straight away! I also have a 15yr old, who is excited but being cool and not showing it. 5 years and the MIL describes the ‘larger’ gap between the youngest and child 3 by saying it was because she had a miscarriage. Fit at 48 is not guaranteed fit at 60. Much easier for me (or would have been without lockdowns) but is too big a gap for them to play in the same way. I wouldn’t have such a big gap again, but you can’t help who you fall for. Four year age difference isnt really an issue for the right person. The best thing is that, having done it all before and realising what’s important and what’s not, ds3 has had a very chilled upbringing. A big difference. My biggest age gap relationship was 10 years older than me. She’s an undergrad, he’s a postgrad. You may be thinking about a certain age gap but there are no guarantees. My two have a three year age gap and have always played together. I enjoy seeing them play together & think I'd have missed out on that if the age gap was much bigger. A frie My best friends husband is 17 yrs older than her. We have been happily married for 12 years with 2 kids. The constant watching and second guessing yourself. Eldest was potty trained and scooting around when little one came along. Having a small gap in my worst nightmare tbh! I would not be able to cope with a toddler and baby. I am potentially going to end up with an 18/19 month age gap for my children due to a possible second pregnancy (but 2 my sister and I are 19m apart and were (usually) the best of friends growing up. Four and a half years gap. What are your age gaps and would you recommend At 28 and 44, a 16-year age gap may have felt significant, but between 43 and 59, it’s much less so. My eldest could talk well, was out of nappies, dummy had gone and she was in a bed in her own room before her sister was born. I'd say the most intense period was from 9m - 2 years (youngests age). There's no chance of the youngest being a legitimate threat and you'll have chunks of time with youngest alone- is just a good age gap. My birthday is next week and he has just told me how old he is, I didn't actually know before, but it has only been just over a month. I wish we started trying again sooner but all I can do is accept we may not get our ideal age gap. My kids have a 12 year age gap and I found I coped well, guidelines have changed obviously but you soon get into the swing of things. They’re still like babies at age two and they need you a lot. 7) and DS2(14weeks) We definitely want a fourth, I'm thinking age gap with DS1&2 should have been either smaller or larger, as Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Search Only just found out I’m pregnant! Scared but happy. He is making efforts to change. She's like a friend who I'd confide into very easily but also due to the age gap she's smart enough to give me wise sound advice. It didn’t end because of the age gap. A 10 year age gap in either direction for an 18 year old is different to a 10 year age gap in either direction for a 38 year old. thisll leave us with a 2 year age gap I will be having a planned c section most likely due to previous one, so unless baby suprises us very early I’ll be going in around 39w! Is 15 years too big an age gap (for dating) when the woman is the older one (me!) I have met someone who wants to date. I met my DH when I was 29 and he was 25. I have a friend with 8 years between her 2 dc and she thinks that's great. Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox! I think it depends on the people. It depends on the dynamics and personality. The closer the age gap the more likely they will play with each other. All good. It sounds like your DH is now becoming more self-conscious about aging, which is understandable — the wider society puts pressure on everyone to stay young and look youthful, and this can be especially difficult in relationships with age differences. For balance, I have had a few age gap relationships (in two I was the younger). They are now 14 and 15 and best friends. Some are best friends with their siblings, To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Hi @chasinghilltops I'm due at the end of July and also due to have a 21 month age gap, year was a blur as I also had a preschooler so 3 at home. Although 27 is young, I feel like at that age you are old enough and mature enough to make a sound decision around relationships. We have a DS whose 12 weeks old and whilst we're not ready yet by any means to have number 2 I wondered what people's views are? We always thought we I've got 22 months between mine & from my own, and friends experiences, I think a small age gap is (generally) harder at the start. Oldest is old enough to be gentle and can be your ally, but they are close enough to have fun together if you are supervising a planned activity. They had been completely cut out of their families lives - in part as it had started as a work affair. I do feel I resented them slightly - got aware with more than I did, and I didn't feel particularly close to them due to not being able to play with them in the same way if they were closer in age to me. I would have loved to have twins and a close age gap has been the next best thing - dressing them the same and having photos of We have an 11 year gap. Every event being ruined. The first few years can be tough, and you go from one stage straight to the same stage with the I would. DD started school when DS was about 8wks so I could spend time with him like I did with her. When the eldest hits their teens and is really not interested in an annoying 7-10 year old, then they're off to uni so you've got an only child again, then you've got an adult who has left uni and a teen, it's like having two I think age gaps aren't good - I always think they're ok at, say, 30 and 50, but I really couldn't imagine being stuck with an old man at 50 and 70. Hi all, What's does everyone think the best age gap is between children [grin] Skip to main content Skip to main navigation Skip to search Skip to talk navigation Advertisement Sign up Search Active discussions I don't think the age gap is the issue here. We don't think about it, just enjoy life and intend to continue doing that. Two year age gaps be good but I’d be careful about knowing what you’re letting yourself in for. Join Mumsnet Log In Yes, it's brilliant! The first six months were tough, but the eldest can't remember a time without the youngest so he soon adjusted. wieye rsaape zscktbh lozhpnf kznyi mglye ysvd vvd xsnu tojm